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<title>When I'm This by radokami</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669313">When I'm This</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/radokami/pseuds/radokami'>radokami</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Live! Sunshine!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, this is basically prose poetry I'm sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:41:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>493</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/radokami/pseuds/radokami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoshiko and Ruby try to make sense of it all.</p><p>An epilogue to Soria Moria.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurosawa Ruby/Tsushima Yoshiko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Idol Fanfic Heaven's Wake Up Challenger Event 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I'm This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t feel real. Not after all this time. All this grief. But there was the burning sunset, the shining bay, the crying gulls, the whispering breeze.</p><p>And Ruby’s hand in Yoshiko’s.</p><p>In so many ways, all the ways that mattered to Yoshiko, it felt the same. The softness of her skin, the delicate touch of her fingers, the gentle reassurance of holding her.</p><p>It <em>was</em> different now, though. Ruby had brought a chill back with her, one that slithered up Yoshiko’s arm and coiled around her chest. Told her it couldn’t ever be like it was before.</p><p>She shivered.</p><p>“Oh no,” Ruby muttered to herself. “Am I making you cold, Yoshiko?”</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Yoshiko scoffed. Her eyes wandered back out to the bay, to the light of day dying in a blaze of glory reflected all across the rippling water. “Still a bit warm out for that, I think.”</p><p>A beat as they both processed. A gust of wind roared around them, leaving stark quiet in its wake.</p><p>“Are you… afraid of me?” Ruby’s voice wavered, her hand didn’t.</p><p>“I’ve seen worse.”</p><p>“No, that’s not… I mean, after everything, when I’m… this. What do we <em>do</em> now?”</p><p>“I like what we’re doing right now,” Yoshiko feebly muttered, squeezing Ruby’s hand. The cold spread out from her chest, in harmony with the gradually darkening sky.</p><p>“Me too.” Ruby leaned into Yoshiko, resting her head on her shoulder and eliciting another shiver. “I’m definitely making you cold, though. You sure you’re okay?”</p><p>“I’m… better than I really thought possible.” It was true enough.</p><p>“I believe that.” Ruby paused, wrapping her free hand around Yoshiko’s arm, taking a moment to absorb the sensation before continuing. “I saw you now and then, when I was away. I saw how hard it was. I tried to reach out to you every time, but you were so far away.”</p><p>“But here we are now.” Yoshiko’s own voice sounded distant to her. “We made it.”</p><p>“Does it feel like a dream to you too?”</p><p>The chill engulfed Yoshiko completely.</p><p>“I can’t shake the feeling this is too good to be true, after the past year. Even the weather’s too perfect.”</p><p>In another show of poetic synchronicity, the last of the sun retreated below the horizon, leaving its sparks to skitter and die out across the twilight sky. Ruby’s already vague silhouette threatened to melt into the burgeoning shadows, but her embrace held fast.</p><p>“That’s kind of what I was thinking too.” Yoshiko laid her head against Ruby’s and, starting from the point of contact, began to thaw. “But I don’t think I could have made this up.”</p><p>Ruby giggled softly, and a warmth flickered in Yoshiko’s chest.</p><p>“I… don’t know what we do now. But I do know that you’re here, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”</p><p>“Even if you can’t hug me without shivering?”</p><p>“I don’t know about that either. I feel pretty warm right now.”</p>
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